The Greatest TV Show Ever

In recent years, NBA players have started to gain much attention outside of basketball quarters. Three of these players diversifying outside of basketball: Gilbert Arenas, Shaquille O'neal, and Stephon Marbury also happen to be among the most entertaining people in show business. Gilbert has gained superstar status mostly through his blog and crazy behaviour, Shaq has and always will be the Godfather of entertainment, and Stephon Marbury has shown flashes of insanity on numerous occasions. So what would be better than bringing these three together, and making one crazy motherfreakin' show? Nothing I tell you, absolutely nothing! Just imagining those three together puts a big smile on my face. Therefore, in order to make this timeless classic a reality, I present to you my 5 ideas for a Big Diesel/Agent 0/Starbury television show.

Show Ideas

1) A question of Sanity

If you have watched any BBC, you might have run into a sports trivia show called 'A question of Sport'. There is one host, two regular team leaders and then 2 guest celebrities on each team. Question are presented to each team on sports, with video clips, pictures, and in other entertaining forms.This is in fact a perfect model to copy and one that would enjoy unprecedented success.

Shaq would be the host and the man providing witty remarks at every approapriate junction. He would need to go to some speech training course so that people can actually understand what the hell he's muttering, but that can be arranged. Gilbert Arenas, as a leader of 'Team 0', would always come up with some crazy answers that will have the crowd laughing as often as a 'Friends' episode. His team would probably be stuck on 0 points for most of the game, but that doesnt mean they cant win. Thats because on the other team you have Stephon Marbury, who will no doubt try his best to outcraze Arenas and come with some wacky stuff that will occasionaly cross the line and have everyone in the room quiet, wondering whether to boo him. Shaq will break that ice and come up with one of his classic punch lines that will restore sanity to the room.

Verdict: This show knows no limits besides the craziness of Arenas and Marbury, so yea - no limits. Sports celebrities guests would provide a nice colourful background to this mayhem, and some watchers will even be drawn by the sports trivia itself. This is a platinum mine.

2) The Next Big Invention

The SMG (Shaq/Marbury/Gilbert) trio no doubt have some crazy ideas deep inside their brain. This show would be reveal who among the three is the craziest of them all. The premise would be to make the best and craziest invention that they can possibly make. Their budgets would all be something around $50,000 and they would have this amount of capital to make their idea a reality. THe camera would go around tracking their progress to make their crazy invention happen. Shaq would perhaps try to make a 100% freethrow making catapult, Gilbert would try to develop a basketball jersey that hydrates your body while still playing, and Stephon Marbury would make the viewers cringe with his god-awful idea of making a solar-powered flashlight. The presentation would be similar to "The Apprentice" and the host would be no other than Mr. Donal Trump himself.

Verdict: Just imagining Marbury in a lab coat and brainstorming inventions with his advisors is enough for me to invest my life savings on this show.

3) Favorite Uncle

There's a lot of dating shows on television where one guy/girl goes on dates with three other members of the opposite sex. In the end, through these dates the one person has to pick one of the three he/she likes best. A similar idea can be implimanted for the SMG trio where they are the contestants and instead of a woman, it is a kid's love they have to win (I feel bad for even making this point but I dont want to get sued: its obviously a much different kind of love they need to win with the kid). What makes this idea so great is that 1) all three are just overgrown kids 2) love children - Shaq has kids, Gilbert looks after one, and Marbury writes children's books 3) probably are the type would want to be the favorite uncle 4) and the kid can and will say anything that's on his mind to these manchilds. Seeing these three dissed by a kid and seeing them all fight each other to be the 'favorite uncle' would be some good old fashioned entertainment.

Verdict: Im still not sure if three old strangers trying to impress a little kid falls in the Bill Cosby or Michael Jackson area.

4) The FaceOff

This show besides the SMG trio would need one more suitable NBA personality, my vote goes to Sam Cassell. This show is a mix between American Idol/BET Freestyle Friday/And1 Tour. Each of the 4 NBA stars is an agent/coach and has to find 5 under-21 team members. They each have to find 1 basketball player, 1 hiphop freestyler, 1 dancer, 1 comedian, and 1 model. After a search through auditions, parks, events, and the street, the team will be formed. Then, each week there is a small tournament to decide which of these NBA stars' picks were the best. A one-on-one game for basketball, a freestyle battle for rappers, a dance off for dancers, a short comedy routine for comedians, and a cat walk for the models. It's a straight 4 team bracket elimination tournament for each field, and the winner gets 4 points, 2nd gets 3, 3rd gets 2, and 4th gets 1. At the end of these 5 competitions, the coach with the most points wins. Of course along the way, there will be a lot of trashtalk between the NBA players each claiming their discovery to be the best. Coaching and motivation will also be important. Three notable NBA players/celebrities will be on hand to judge who is the winner (except for the basketball part which will be decided on score, and be the last weeks event where points count 2x more.)

Verdict: Alot to love about this show, Cassel teaching his ball player some dirty tricks, Arenas telling his rapper to diss Shaq, Marbury being uncomfortably close to his model, and Shaq telling his comedian joke ideas should all be memorable highlights.

5) Garage Sale

This time the SMG trio is on the same team, where they will face three contestants each episode (preferably celebrities, but not a must). The object of the game is to make the most money possible. They will have 100 dollars to go to garage sales and pick out undervalued items. Then after bargaining and arguing amongst themselves, they will have a bunch of items which they spent 100 dollars on. They will then along with the other team (say made of P.Diddy, Charles Barkley, and Jessica Alba) host their own garage sale and see who gets the most money from the sale of their recently purchased items. Seeing Shaq box out "Barkley the Salesman", Arenas/Marbury putting on crazy outfits and demonstrating the product to bypassers while trying to compete with Alba should make this an enjoyable show.

Verdict: This show could be total chaos. The chance that they will agree on what items to buy is as likely as them agreeing on who should take the last shot if they were on the same basketball team.


Let's Make it Happen

While I only have 5 shows listed, there are infinite possibilities. I think the SMG trio are all quite crazy but still make a good tandem - similar to Charles Barkley, Kenny Smith, Reggie Miller. However, I'm one who feels that three such crazy personalities shouldnt be wasted talking about basketball, there is room and possibility for so much more. They all seem to be interested to be on television, so I dont see why this can't happen. If anyone out there is reading and knows either a TV executive or either one of these three players, please pass them this idea - and make the greatest TV show ever come to life.